You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I could fuck to npr.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
