somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
