Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
