He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
