btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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