You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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