Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Oh god it's open bar.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
