he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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