Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
