Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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