drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
