If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
