fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
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Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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