Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
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How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
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Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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