Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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