he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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