She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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