Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
