this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
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I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
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IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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