So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
