no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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