Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
