i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
