At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
