dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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