You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize