Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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