How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
