If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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