Too much gin, very little bucket
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
