One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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