He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
