I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
