I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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