my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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