I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
