I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
