I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
