were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
