why do cheetos always look like penises
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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