I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You've changed since you got that strap on
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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