1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
