i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and she was petting her beer can
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
