I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
being pregnant is like rehab
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
