I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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