he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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