Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
