D3 body, D1 cock
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
