we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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