atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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