i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
