I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
