these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
