imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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