3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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