hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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