I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
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Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
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And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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