I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
