But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
