Kiss
Puke
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
