i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Hello my rib-scented angel!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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