With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
