So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
