a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
