Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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