so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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