Where is the hickey?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Can I color on your dick again?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize