It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
