Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Randomize
