I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
