Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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