dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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